Let's Talk about Orgasms:
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Modern
women are bombarded with articles in their favorite magazines, like
Cosmopolitan, Redbook, and Marie Claire, on how to achieve "guaranteed"
orgasms or how to "improve" your sexual climax. On their favorite
tv shows, women see their favorite characters--like Carrie, Charlotte,
Samantha, and Miranda from Sex and the City--having
"mind-blowing" orgasms (or even multiple orgasms) with many different
partners. In a conversation about orgasms, three of the Sex and the City women, commented:
Charlotte: Sex can still be great without an orgasm!
Samantha: That is such a crock of sh*t.
Carrie: She has a point there.
From
this conversation (and many other like it in the show) and from all
these "how to have great orgasms" articles, it appears that women are
being trained to think that the entire point of sex is to have an
orgasm and that something must be wrong with them if they don't.
What is an orgasm?:
Merriam-Webster.com
states that an orgasm is an "explosive discharge of neuromuscular
tension at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by
ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the
female." Birnbaum describes the orgasm in terms of an orgasmic
cycle of "excitement--ecstasy--relief" (61). Marie Lavie-Ajaya
cites that, in a social context, an orgasm is considered "'the peak,'
or the desired outcome of the sexual act and that a sexual act itself
is defined as a linear process that culminates in orgasm" (Female
Orgasmic Disorder, 59).
The first
definition is purely technical, but Lavie-Ajaya found that people do,
as a whole, consider an orgasm to be the expected conclusion to sex.
So what does it mean to a woman when she can't have an orgasm?
"The Meaning of Heterosexual Intercourse Among Women with FOD":
Dr. Gurit
Birnbaum wrote an article of the above title that I thought was worth
including in this project. Dr. Birnbaum interviewed women with FOD and
without FOD on their perspectives of sex with their male partners.
Women with Female Orgasmic Disorder rated themselves higher than normal
functioning women on the following scales: withdrawal, distress,
anxiety, guilt, shame, detachment, and distancing (65). In short,
"difficulties in experiencing orgasm was highly correlated
with...reflecting fears and anxieties dericed from...intercourse, as
well as a sense of estrangement, dissatisfaction, and frustration"
(67). Women with FOD are affected negatively in both their own view of
sexual intercourse as well as their relationships with their partners.
Let's Talk About Orgasms Diagnostic Criteria
Prevalence/Causes Treatment
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